28 Jan Home Home home hom hom ohm.
There have been a few things come up lately and, over and over, I am finding myself questioning what it means to be me at this moment. Over the past few days one word keeps popping up, keeps presenting itself.
Where is home, what is home for me? What is the sense of feeling home?
Do I “feel” at home?
With this word floating around in my head I came across an article about attachment and about letting go. About not holding on to a person, or object, but just seeing the beauty in the moment and letting it go.
This rammed it home, so hard and fast, for me that even writing it brings me close to tears.
Hanging our own happiness on another will only end in pain. Releasing and seeing it as only a glorious moment in time means we will not pin our hopes, dreams, fears or happiness on whether we receive this from another.
“Letting go is letting happiness in”
I felt a massive shift. An uncomfortable and painful shift. I knew this letting go would serve me but right now, it will be my choice to feel this pain, I am also choosing not to suffer with the pain.
Acknowledge and release.
Looking at what home now means to me with no attachment or ownership, it is when I feel most at peace in myself.
Writing this I feel at home, I am in the physical sense, though I also have a 7 year old tucked in to me wanting nothing more than an early morning cuddle. That is home.
At home I am my truest self. No make up, no disguise, no pretense or agenda.
So if this is home to me, then I am home on my early walk on the beach – this is home!
Diving into the surf (even when it’s cold) is home! Watching a movie with my big girls, and getting a sneaky cuddle in. Sunshine, warmth, sitting on the balcony and looking at the sky is home. Yoga definitely feels like home.
In my yoga, I am finding it easier and easier to be completely present. My mind clear and having this moment just for me. Thinking about the practice, and what feels most like home, most recently I would have likely answered, “Shavasana.” (lying on my back with my eyes closed) – up until recently.
It was only when my ohm was not presented, did I feel like something was missing! Where was my ohm?? Why did we not chant? I soon realized I was waiting and waiting for my ohm to start and without it I was distracted from the rest of the practice. Letting this go and being present took a while.
Only afterwards did I see that was when I felt most at home. The collective room reverberating around me, a start and a finish. Full circle. A complete surrender and release to the moment.
Thank you for my ohm, this is home.
I am my home. Right now I am working on this feeling of complete contentment and calm within myself. Some days it is fluid, others it is a challenge. Working on this has shown me that both are ok.
No attachment to an outcome, a person, a relationship, no attachment to objects or things. What is present in my mind for me right now is my sense of home.
So now is time for me to practice what I preach. Let go of those I feel I am attaching myself to, my happiness to, realize that I am enough, I have my happiness within and that I am my home.
Tears are flowing freely now.
To read the post on attachment click the link here – http://upliftconnect.com/letting-go-of-attachment/