23 Feb The End Zone
Today I stepped out of my comfort zone and through a big, heavy door. I was scared, and nervous and felt like I was going to vomit. The challenge was not what happened on the other side; that was magic, but actually approaching the door, grabbing the handle and pushing through.
Sometimes we stop ourselves from stepping out by our own heads or fears of what may happen and this can prevent us from stretching or growing.
In my working life, I am pretty much always outside of what most people would call their comfort zones. For me this was something that has happened over time, where now pretty much anything can be thrown at me with little to no notice and I am fine for the challenge.
Speak in front of crowds, Sure!
Cook while you speak in front of crowds? No problem!!
Cook, speak in front of crowds at an expo on mic while a High 5 concert is going on?? Um ok sure!! (That actually did happen and I was given about 5 minutes notice).
With work the more I have stepped out of my comfort zone, the bigger my comfort zone has grown. What scared me at the start now is no problem at all.
My personal life? Well here I still felt like a toddler. One big gigantic leap out of my Comfort Zone and I was shitting my pants, questioning whether I had made the right decision, feeling a sense of dread if I didn’t do it, feeling a sense of dread for doing it.
I knew by stepping out I had the possibility of magic, but was it the right choice?
I then stuck my toe in the water, retreated, tried again, had this big monologue going through my head and talked my self in and out of it so many times I don’t think I knew whether I was up or down. But I did it. I felt like a 15 year old, I had vomit in my mouth, heart beating so fast that I was sure everyone around could hear it.
I did it! Though you know what, I soon realised that the big thing here wasn’t the outcome, that was out of my control. The big thing for me was my part in stepping out of my comfort zone.
Then I dove in. I dove in the cool, delicious water. I am not a wader. I cannot wade in slowly. It was wonderful. All of a sudden it wasn’t so scary. I can do this! I got this nailed. I was feeling lighter than I had in years and wanted more, addicted to the feeling of having this amazing high of emotion. Best ever Fantasy Nic was here, yoga every day, meditating, green smoothies, swimming, beach and only the things I wanted to do. I was definitely feeling like me again, actually the best ever version of me. And believe me when you are projecting guess what comes back to you?
So by putting myself out there I received.
By stepping out and putting myself out there, magic happened. I had being saying that I was letting go of the attachment of the outcome and now, I actually was.
I was stretching my Comfort Zone and all of a sudden Fantasy Nic had her big brave girl pants on.
I was stepping out all over the place, still a little bit of vomit in my mouth, but not actually emotionally attached to the outcome. Now there is a sense of empowerment. Now I know what I want, how I want to be treated and most importantly, how I feel I deserved to be treated. My self-worth, my self-esteem, I am in charge of this – no one else.
I am no longer waiting for the right moment – now is the right moment.